Conflicts? Yes, please!
- 28. August 2018
- Posted by: Joana Zimmerli
- Category: INGsight
“Conflicts are positive!”, “I like to face any conflict!”
Such statements are rarely heard! Most people do not like conflicts and shy away from them, even out of fear of the possible consequences!
Conflicts are part of everyday professional life
The cooperation with superiors, employees, colleagues and even customers rarely runs completely smoothly.
Differences of opinion and moods often clash, leading to a conflict.
Conflicts only become a real problem when they are denied, when those involved resign and withdraw, or when compromises are made that they cannot support. To insist on one’s point of view or to feel right without self-criticism also causes conflicts to escalate.
Grow beyond yourself!
…and use conflicts as an opportunity for further development! The following formula applies
Acceptance + Confrontation = Development
If there is no confrontation in conflicts, the causer has no chance of being able to adapt his behavior. Through confrontation, escalations can be avoided, successful arguments can be conducted and friction losses in everyday life can be reduced. A positive culture of conflict is inevitable: Separate the relationship level from the factual level In this way you create the basis for appreciative relationships and find solutions that do justice to all participants!
12 tips for solving problems in a nutshell
With the targeted use of these communication techniques, you will achieve a win-win situation!
1. Talk about yourself, not about the others
Always explain problems from your personal point of view. This way, you avoid stepping on the necktie of your conversation partner and at the same time increase your own powers of persuasion.
2. Always have several alternatives available
Leave the selection of the most promising alternatives open and, depending on the course of the conversation, decide at a later point in time on the best alternative.
3. Let your face be saved
Make suggestions in a way that is acceptable to the other. This is usually not about the facts, but about how you formulate the proposals.
4. Surprise the other
Go directly to your opponent instead of just talking to him at the conference table. This signals that you want to be a real partner.
5. Separating problems and people
Concentrate solely on the matter, regardless of whether your conversation partner is particularly sympathetic or unsympathetic to you.
6. First the problem, then the solution
Never make demands without first identifying the underlying problem. This way, you only provoke counterarguments.
7. Set no limits
Never say to yourself “this far and no further.” By drawing this line, you often prevent a solution, because you cannot use the information you receive during the conversation.
8. Putting yourself in the position of the other person
You don’t have to accept this view of your interlocutor, but the mere realization that he disagrees with you helps you a lot.
9. Do not give in under pressure
If the other side is not prepared to talk about principles and give in in any way, there is no basis for discussion.
10. Not to retaliate the same with the same
Allow the person you are talking to to to spray up once in a while. The best strategy for you is to listen calmly. After that, the discussion will certainly become much more objective.
11. Never stubbornly insist on positions
The more you haggle over positions, the more you cement your posture. It will be very difficult for you to give up a stubbornly defended position later on. Concentrate on asserting your interests. There are several ways to do this. In the course of the conversation, you will recognize which one leads to the goal.
12. Attempts at intimidation only harden the situation
Instead, try to list possible consequences together with the other side and find common solutions or alternatives. This way, you take your opponent to task and have already won half of the game.
Those who face their conflicts and live a positive culture of conflict can avoid escalations, lead successful arguments and reduce friction losses in everyday life.
Our trainers for your success: Monja Bedke, Senior Expert for Communication Topics
- Change management, implementation processes
- Communication, conflict resolution, mediation
- Corporate culture
- Team development